In one year...

While lying in bed last night, I couldn’t help but think how in one year my world had been rocked, my perspective changed, my innocence lost, and how thankful I am for that journey God gave me.

If you do not know already, we are expecting a sweet baby in July! We feel so blessed and are so thankful. Everyone’s road to parenthood is different, some have similar stories or struggles, but each unique in the way God planned.

Just a year ago today, Evan and I walked in to the doctor’s office expecting to see what most expecting parents get to see on an ultrasound – their sweet growing baby, and walked out feeling defeated and hopeless. We were told what I had, was a blighted ovum, and that even though everything else developed and was there, there was no baby. We were devastated. In this diagnosis, the doctor said there is no way to know rather a baby ever developed or not, but because I believe in life from conception. I believe that our baby was there but is now in heaven, and that the first time he/she was ever rocked, was in the arms of Jesus. I know that we will be reunited again one day. I knew that from the beginning, and even though that hope was there from the start, it didn’t mean that hard times weren’t ahead. I went through the stages of grief. I grieved so much for the loss of our baby and not only that, grieved for my pregnancy, the hope of being called mommy, and hearing Daddy, and all the years ahead. I lost and grieved the lives we could have had.

For the next 3 weeks I went in and out of that same doctor’s office getting blood drawn, and ultrasounds done, only to see that my HCG numbers were not lowering drastically, and my body still thought I was pregnant. I was still in complete shock, and when I asked the nurse about taking medication to help induce the passing of the sack, etc. she told me continually that she thought I was on the downhill and that I should soon pass it on my own.  

Finally at the end of the three weeks I was coming out of the shock and was ready to move on and to help myself grieve the proper way, I needed to not be pregnant anymore…I scheduled an appointment with another doctor.  At the end of February I met with her and we went over the past month. I cried to her and told her I needed to move on.  She was very comforting and suggested that I take medication or schedule a D&C. I felt very uneasy about both, but it was clear that my body wasn’t miscarrying as it should. I told her I wanted to think about it. I decided that taking medication was the least invasive and it would work best for me.

The first week in March, I took the Friday off work, took the medicine the night before and expected my weekend to be very painful, agonizing and scary (you know, all the horror stories I read about that medicine on the internet). Well…NOTHING HAPPENED. NOT.A.THING. I was relieved in a way, but I knew what this meant. I could try the medicine again, and possibly WAIT more, or go ahead and schedule the D&C. When I called my doctor on Monday she gave me those options. I decided that for the health of my body and my sanity I couldn’t wait any longer. I asked about scheduling a D&C and to my surprise she could do it that Wednesday.  My mom did what mothers do and rushed up on the Tuesday night before to take me to the hospital, make sure I was well then left Wednesday afternoon once I was settled at home, right before Ev got home from work to take care of me. I called in sick the rest of the week to work and rested. The surgery overall went well, but we knew something wasn't quite right because the doctor had discussed with my mom that she had “found something” and was going to discuss it with me at my follow up visit.

Two weeks later, I walked in to my follow-up visit with my doctor, thinking I was going to hear…”Great news, go ahead and get started on trying to have another baby”. Yah, that’s not what I heard. The “something” she found, was what she thought at the time was a misshaped uterus….heart-shaped to be exact…how cute right? Ummm...no….Whoa? What?  So NOW I had to wait until I got my period so they could do a HSG test...which is basically an x-ray of your uterus to see how its formed and if your tubes work well (that’s the pleasant way of putting it at least).  

Do you see a pattern? WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

Who knows when I’ll get my period is all I could think about. (Sorry guys)!

So we went on vacation to Mexico that we planned with some of our good friends.  

I feel like I should intersect here and tell you what I was feeling up to this point:

I was bitter.

I was angry.

I was jealous that everyone else’s journey to a baby seemed so easy.

I was mad at my body for tricking me.

I felt inadequate as a woman.

I felt frustrated, because I was still grieving and I knew not everyone around me understood.

I was getting really sick and tired of hearing people tell me “you’re next” or “when will you have a baby”.

But, I continued to pray that through this journey of loss and hurt, that my pain and my miscarriage and my struggle I was going through would bring glory to God.

Now back to Mexico (mid-April), I brought a book with me to read, given to me by my sister called Hannah’s Hope. I dove into it every single day while lying of the gorgeous Playa Mujeres beach.

IT WAS JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

I spent my days literally reading, reflecting, and talking to God about what he showed me through this book.  There were so many pages I marked to remember, but this one I jotted down in my notes on my phone:

Prayed for my miscarriage/struggle to have a baby to bring glory to God, for God to use me in this trial. On 4/20 read page 126 of Hannah's hope. The verse John 9:2-3, stated how the blind man was born blind so that God might be displayed in his life.  

Wow. So that God might be displayed in his life. So that God might be displayed in MY life?

Obviously I wasn’t born blind this is a totally different struggle. I can’t even compare the two.

But the similarity here is the STUGGLE in itself allows us to see God, and have others see him in our life.

I came back refreshed. The pain was still there, but that was what I needed. I was thankful that this trip was scheduled on January 5 (the day I found out I was pregnant).  God is in details, people.

 Back from vacation…..and I got my period a week later, and I had the HSG test on May 3. Everything seemed to be normal, and I was so excited because it meant we could try again for a baby, BUT then my dr. called me the next week and informed me they found a polyp or fibroid in my uterus and that I needed to see a fertility specialist about having surgery to remove it.

Fertility Specialist….if I have to…

SO then I wait to get in to the fertility clinic.

Got in with an appointment to the specialist on May 21 and he scheduled my surgery for the removal June 14. My doctor mentioned that since I have a high chance of endometriosis because my mom and sis both had it, that we should go ahead and do laparoscopic surgery for that too while I was under, I said no at first, then decided if that was an issue, I didn’t want to be back in surgery in a month or…even a year later.  Evan was there with me. When I came out of surgery, Evan told me the doctor wasn't able to remove the polyp because they couldn't get my cervix dilated and perforated my uterus in the process of trying to get the procedure to work.  I was ANGRY. I started crying immediately at the thought of waiting longer and having to be back in surgery again. What happened to that “specialist” part of his title? This was supposed to work and we were supposed to have a baby in 9 months right?

Removing endometriosis was a success thankfully, but then came the fear of worrying if I can have a baby, the fear of worrying if in a surgery something was damaged, or just finding that something worse is happening with my body.  And all those feelings I had before….welp they became stronger than ever….

I was BITTER.

I was ANGRY.

I was jealous that everyone else’s journey to a baby seemed SO EASY.

I was mad at my body for tricking me.

I felt inadequate as a woman.

I felt frustrated, because I was STILL grieving and I knew not everyone around me understood.

I was getting really sick and tired of hearing people tell me “you’re next” or “when will you have a baby”.

But, I continued to pray that through this journey of loss and hurt, that my pain and my miscarriage and my struggle I was going through would bring glory to God.

 

Then one Sunday morning while still in bed, I prayed and sang to God “I need thee every hour” with an aching heart and heavy burden I passionately prayed for God to show his power and remove the polyp.

At the end of July I went in for the fertility specialist to check the status of the polyp via ultrasound. It was gone. Nothing there. He tried to do a few things in office to check it a more invasive way but after discovering how uniquely designed my 90 degree angle cervix is(no, it really is…he said I had the most difficult cervix he’s seen in 30 or so years…ummm...cool!), he decided to take it for what it was, and check it in a couple of months. But you guys, he said those words I was ready to hear over the past 6 months…”go ahead and start trying again.”

I told him I prayed for the polyp to be gone and leapt out of that stinky office happier than ever!

Fast forward to September…This month was hard. After all my due date was September 13. A day I will never ever forget and will always be special and hard at the same time.  

I found this on my phone that I jotted down on September 1:

I need the every hour was sung at church, it brought me back to my aching heart in the midst of prayer and I sang those words to passionately, and again this morning, I sang them so passionate Bc my need was still so deep for The Lord. "Bless me Lord my savior, I need thee!”

Julie and Julia - Julia child’s reads a letter from her sister that she is pregnant and she says as her voice begins to crack and tears begin to flow," I'm so happy."

It's hard to explain the hurt that you can't experience the same, but yet still happy for others. I couldn't help but sob when that scene was on. My heart hurt for her and the feelings she had felt, and brought me back to so many times of hearing of the joy of friends and family having babies, beings so happy and yet so hard to face at the same time.
As the pastor said in church today - that's the thing about trials and grief, it puts us on the same level playing field. No I didn't know her, no I'm not even sure it that scene happened in real life but I can relate with her hurt.

Most of our journey was very private. Our immediate family, and some close friends knew, but other than that because we didn’t know what our outcome would be, this needed to be something that we guarded with our heart. It surprised me when and who I would share things with at certain points, maybe it was something that person needed to hear, or maybe it was just that my heart was aching at that time and I needed someone to talk to.

This part of the story minimal new about, and some of my immediate family will even be surprised, and I’m sorry for not sharing with you, but this was too painful, I couldn't stand to see pity in your eyes, even though you would have loved to comfort me. I couldn’t deal with it. It was better dealt with alone.

On September 7, I woke up….and I felt PREGNANT…so even though I knew my period was a week away. I was dying to take a test. I took it and to my surprise it was POSITIVE!!! I was so excited. Evan was already at the razorback game with some friends and I was meeting up with him around lunch. I couldn’t wait to tell him when I got there. He was just as happy!

The 13^th was my due date from my first pregnancy. A day I knew would be hard but always thought it would be easier if I were expecting again. On the 12^th I started bleeding. It was one of those times where you stop and say “Really God, but why today? This is like salt in my wounds!” When I called the doctor to let them know they wanted me to wait until the next week to check my HCG levels, but go ahead and get me started on progesterone. You can imagine that that Friday the 13^th was much worse than I could have ever imagined. I was grieving the fact that I wasn’t holding my first baby and feared I was miscarrying my second.

The next week the doctor told me that I had experienced a chemical pregnancy. My HCG got just high enough to get a positive pregnancy test, and then once my levels dropped my period came.

Then came the time to see the Fertility Specialist again for that dreaded polyp checkup. Polyp was still gone to our amazement! (Thank you JESUS)! Although he questioned if I was ovulating…I kind of doubted this, because hello, I had just gotten pregnant. But I played along and had my blood drawn for the millionth time and it came back and my results were good. I had ovulated and thankfully (nothing against the doctor) I didn’t have to go back to that clinic again!!!

My OBGYN wanted me to start taking progesterone during the luteal phase of my period in case low progesterone was an issue for me in holding onto a pregnancy.

For the next two months I did just that.

The first week of November, a few days out from my expected period, I felt pregnant. I wanted to take a test, but Evan urged me not to because he didn’t want us to have to go through the same experience as last time….but I did it anyway. He had told me that he didn’t want to know the results. So I took the test on the morning of November 5, got a positive, went to work and mentioned nothing of it to Evan. That afternoon when we both got home he asked me about it, and I said…well you said you don’t want to know, so I’m not telling you. He urged me to tell him of course and I showed him a picture of the positive test. It was so different than the first time, and the second time. We hugged and said well, here we go. We were fearful. Our innocence was gone.

I continued on progesterone, and my numbers were good. I got called to see if I wanted to go have an ultrasound right before thanksgiving. I called Evan and told him and he rushed to meet me there.

The ultrasound at 7 weeks and listening for the heartbeat at 13 weeks were two of the scariest moments of my life I think. Because of our past experience, not seeing anything on the ultrasound, and then not hearing anything on the Doppler were my biggest fears. But our baby was healthy and growing both times. I still have fears, and I still worry, I know so much of that is motherhood beginning.

On the way to our appointment to listen to our baby's heartbeat, I was in agony. Literal tears driving there. I was so nervous. I just wanted our baby to be okay...and do you know what song came on the radio? Yep.

Lord, I Need You by Matt Maher  

"Lord, I need You, Oh, I need You

Every hour I need You

My one defense, my righteousness

Oh God, how I need thee"                                                                                        

I literally balled as I sang along. Again, he is in details.

I couldn’t be more excited about this sweet little blessing growing inside of me. He/she is worth everything that we went through.

I know my journey is NOTHING compared to what other people go through. You would be surprised how many women that walk down the road of infertility or loss and no one knows. I’m thankful for those women who have shared their stories publicly or with me individually. It gave me hope when I felt like I didn’t have any and that’s why I wanted to share mine. Unfortunately not everyone’s journey has the happiest of endings. Some end in joyful things like a pregnancy or adoption, but not all do. I still think talking about it and sharing helps us each know we aren’t alone. There were times when I was completely surrounded by family and friends that I loved, and never felt more alone in my life because I was aching inside. A holy ache…living between hope and reality.

 In Hannah’s Hope, Jennifer Saake shares about her miscarriage loss, adoption loss and struggle with infertility for years as she compares it to how the Old Testament character Hannah must have felt as she struggled to have a baby during a time when children were seen as a blessing from God.  

I really want to encourage you to read this book if you are struggling with any of these issues. Just hearing another woman talk about all the same things you are thinking, but feel guilty saying out loud, that alone was a relief to me.

It helped me to realize:

It’s okay that I’m going to grieve.

I may never heal until we have a baby, whether that is through me carrying a child, or through adoption and even after that their still may not be full healing.

This sucks. Period. It sucks.

Just because I grieve and hurt still it doesn’t mean I’m not trusting in God’s plan.

Even if I’m never a mother on earth, I am a mother figure to someone, and after I experienced my miscarriages I knew I was a mother in heaven. There were so many times I wanted to scream that to people when they would ask us about having a baby. I wanted to tell them that it’s not easy for everyone to just “have a baby”. I had to constantly remind myself that those questions and comments are coming from someone that never walked this road, but their struggles are different and made me realize how being sensitive to others is so important no matter what the situation.  

 

 

Things to remember not to say if you know someone dealing with the struggle to have children or have lost children:

From http://www.hannah.org/?i=5455&mid=7

“Just don’t think about it so much and it’ll happen.”
“You’re lucky. We would love to have some time without our kids!”
“If you wouldn’t get so stressed out about it, maybe...”
“I know exactly how you feel, it took us two months to conceive.”
“You can have a couple of my kids!”
“I’m having another boy. I was hoping for a girl.”
“This was an accident. I didn’t want to be pregnant in the summertime.”
“I can just lay in the same bed with my husband and get pregnant!”
“Maybe God doesn’t want you to have children for some reason.”
“Do you just not want kids?”
“Have you tried....”
“You’re Lucky, you don’t have to take the pill.”
“How much does it cost to do......(in vitro, artificial insemination, etc.)”

I wanted to share my story. I’m sorry it was so very long, there were so many details that I left out, but I know that through this God made this His story. It was about him and it was about bring glory to him. I’m thankful for the work He has done in my life and the sensitive heart he has now given me for this.

To those of you struggling, I’m sorry that you have to go through this. It sucks and there is no other way to put it. I pray for you and you are on my heart.

 

Bebe Shower

I had the priviledge of hosting a baby shower for one of my very best friends at my house a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, planning parties is something I should only be allowed to do a few times in my lifetime...it will certainly put me in the grave or on less extreme end, cause a few gray hairs to sprout.

It's not that its so complicated, BUT I AM! I am a perfectionist/overachiever/CRAZY person...the emphasis on crazy as you can see! It's something about party planning that brings out the purest of evil within me! haha! EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECTION...annnndd...well...I'm sure you are murmuring psycho control freak under your breath right now, but I promise I'm not normally like this. I'm a pretty easy going, go with the flow type person, but you throw an event in face to plan, and blast it, its going to be dadgum fabulous, and that's where the crazy comes out! ;)

It was so much fun though, i mean who doesn't dream of throwing lovely parties for their friends and family....okay maybe I'm the only loony that dreamt of being the little miss hostess with the mostess...

But seriously, I wouldn't have it any other way! I loved showering my friend and her sweet soon to be here baby girl. It was certainly an honor to get to celebrate with her and her family and friends. I absolutely loved every minute of it.

Here are some pictures from this delightful day. :)

...Britt had everyone sign the book, "I love you forever."... 

...We had yummy biscuits, quiche, fruit, donuts, homemade granola, and breakfast casserole...

...Oh and COFFEE PUNCH! Just a little bit of heaven in a cup! It was delish!...

...Our gorgeous friends that attended the shower!... 

...And me and the beautiful little mama! So happy for her!...

See you soon! 

What's in a name?

Lately I've been writing a lot. Even if it's just a short thought or long pouring of the heart, I've just been jotting it down. It's very therapeutic and even though I'm not the best writer in the world, I really do enjoy it. Yet I have this cute little blog with no post for...(ehhhem)..8 months.

Why is it so stinkin hard for me to stay up to post on this you ask? Probably because I haven't been much of a crafter lately, and this blog was very much created as a craft blog. SO since writing has been my outlet lately, I've decided to expand beyond craft posts, now don't you worry, if that's the only reason you visit here, there will still be the occasional project or craft show details/pics, but I'm looking forward to sharing more about my life with any of you that may follow me.

In honor of royal baby George (boy does that have a ring to it) having his name announced today, I want to start with the name of my blog and how it came about. "BIG HOUSE, little table" is a random name some of you might think but for my family it has a very memorable story, much more than just a name. As many of you many know my dad is a builder, honestly I think the correct name for what he does is contractor, but I think builder sounds a lot more personable. ;) 

The gist is he builds houses, furniture, cabinets, mister fix it all and everything inbetween. Well growing up for a very long time we didn't have a large dining table. Our table was basically a small child's table my dad had built for us with bench seats that sat inbetween the kitchen and living room. It was great, we never knew the difference...(Although I'm sure my mom did..ha!) 

Our little family of 6 would squeeze in there together for dinner, and our large empty dining room stayed empty. It was quite the sight I'm sure. Which is why when my dad invited some of his crew that had been working with him, it didn't go unnoticed. The crew my dad had invited over weren't just any workers, and really none of my dads workers have been treated like just a crew. He treated them like family always, and gave them he upmost of respect.

Now these particular 3 guys were from Guatemala and we all adored them! We might have not always understood them the best, but what's that saying, "love is a universal language"...or at least I just made it a saying. :) When the guys arrived at our house they had to have made note of the size of our house, we lived in a cute two story house with plenty of room for our family. We were in no way a very wealthy family, but to them, yes we were very wealthy. Then they walk in our house and join us at the table for dinner, yes the child's size table! We started eating and I bet you know where this is going...all of a sudden one of the guys says, "you have big house, little table"...and we all just laughed, realizing how silly it really did look. It's become one of our favorite memories, especially cause it helps us remember those sweet guys. 

And now for some embarrassment, so you can see the little table that went in the big house...

It was basically used for everything, there was one picture of me using all the benches as a bed, and another as me "modeling" on the table...nice...I chose not to share those...ha!

You love the hair, right? I'll be sure and do a seperate post with the number to my hairdresser then. I know you are dying for this look! :)

Have a great night and hopefully I'll be back sooner than later! 

Holidays at Hurricane

Last year around this time mom and I did the Holidays at Hurricane craft show. This is a great show and has grown every year. Unfortunately because of a date conflict we cannot participate this year, but if you are free, you should stop by. It supports a local school and they have great vendors. Here is a link to the information.
http://hces.bryantschools.org/news/179/holidays-at-hurricane-coming-november-20th

We had a great show last year and I wanted to put up pictures of our booth, even though it is extremely late! ;)

 

Be sure and stop by and see us at our show coming up this weekend in Jonesboro, AR, Lil' Bit of Christmas. It's a great show and there are so many talented people with great booths there.

Hope to see you there!

 

 

Razorback Game Day

Getting ready for the Razorback game this morning and decided I would do a quick little blog post. Last time I wrote a blog post about Razorback football, I expressed that I'm a little less than concerned of the outcome of games...BUT I like it when they win because that makes my husband happy. ;) I still have the same feelings, but now I have really fallen more in love with going to games with my husband and friends and surprisingly I can kind of keep up with what's happening.  It still baffles me that these are practically babies that we are yelling at and put so much pressure on to do good in the game, and I think I will always think of that when I hear someone yell at a player. I don't think I could ever have handled that type of pressure in college...or now, after being in the real world.  Although, how exciting it must be when they win, to have fans cheering them on! That must be an awesome feeling. This morning I wanted to show some pre-game support by posting a few of the razorback things I've done over the years. I hope you enjoy!

WOOOO PIG SOOIE!

Email me if I can make any of these things for you. Hope you have a great Saturday! :)

Carly

The Liebster Blog Award

Who doesn’t love an award? I received The Liebster Blog Award nomination from my friend Catherine of The Fancy Little Things (http://thefancylittlethings.blogspot.com/). What’s a Liebster Award you ask? Liebster is a German word meaning dearest, and the award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers who deserve some recognition and support to keep on blogging. Thanks for the nomination Cat!

Here are the rules should you choose to accept:
1. List 11 facts about yourself.
2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
3. Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate for the award.
4. Choose 5 bloggers with 200 or less followers to nominate.
5. Go to each bloggers page and let them know about the award.
6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

So here it goes...

Eleven Facts About Me…
1) I’m originally from Louisiana, and I still love my hometown.
2) I married my college sweetheart.
3) I’m an aspiring health-nut.
4) About 95% of the time I have a sonic cup in my hand.
5) Johnny’s pizza is my favorite pizza place ever, and if you want to be my best friend you could bring me one from my homeland.
6) The first time I flew in an airplane was on my honeymoon 3 years ago.
7) I’m a mom to two beautiful fur children. Ginger and Benton are my pup’s names.
8) I took voice lessons as a child.
9) I still dream of going to beauty school or becoming a Kindergarten teacher.
10) I had spinal meningitis when I was about 18 months old.
11) I have a memory like an elephant.

11 Questions Catherine gave me…
1) How would you describe your personal style? I would say my style is effortless. I try to do simple pieces and not think too much about it. I own ALOT of black and basics. Things that make it easy to wear with different pieces, such as Minnetonka fringe boots, or a leopard cardigan.

2) Where is your favorite place to shop? That changes with the wind. Places I ooze over and just lovingly lust over their products would be Sephora, & Anthropologie. The places that I find most of my everyday looks would be Target, Forever 21, and Old Navy. Have you noticed I can’t just give a one-word answer?

3) What fashion/beauty related item can you not live without and why? I love my LaMer wrap watch, it’s worn grey leather with chains. I throw it on with almost everything.

4) What piece of clothing makes you feel most attractive and why? I always feel super slender in my maxi skirts. I have a black one and a black/white stripe one. I’m a curvy girl and I feel like they show my curves in a flattering way.

5) What is your number one beauty secret? Me…Beauty Secret? I can’t really say that I have one. I am pretty faithful to brands and even though I like to try things I stick with what I like and know. With that being said, something I’ve stuck with for years is that I wash my face with bar Dove soap. It’s mild and gentle for my skin and keeps it clear.

6) How do you wear your hair when in a hurry and short on time? High buns and braids are my friends. My hair is long though, and holds curls pretty well, so sometimes I can run my fingers through it, freshen up with some hairspray and my curls are just wavy enough to look like I fixed it.

7) Who is your favorite musician and why? I’ve never ever been good with answering questions about music. I don’t really say that I have a particular genre or type. I have always loved really calming music, and The Civil Wars does just that for me these days. All of their music is perfection.

8) If you could play any instrument what would it be and why? I think I would have to choose the piano. It’s soothing. I would love to be able to play while my husband sings. He has an amazing voice.

9) If crafting was your career what item or items would you make to sell? Lately I’ve done a lot with window panes. I think I would expand to more re-purposing and would love to do furniture.

10) How would you describe your home decorating style? I love things that have a story or look old, but I also love to tie in warm, cozy and inviting new things. I have an appreciation for natural woods and rustic things without looking like I live in a cabin. ;)

11) If you had an unlimited budget, what location would you choose for a week of vacation and why? My husband I have always talked about going to Australia. It's sort of our dream vacation...one day! :)

My 11 Questions For My Blog Nominees
1) If you could have any career in the world, with no limits, what would you be doing?
2) What would you say is your go-to recipe when you don’t have much time to think about dinner?
3) What is your favorite season?
4) If your house was on fire and you only had time to grab 3 things, what would you grab?
5) What is your favorite trend about today’s style/fashion and what is your least favorite trend?
6) What is your favorite TV Show?
7) Do you have a favorite makeup product or favorite hair care product?
8) What is most important to you in life?
9) What is your favorite piece of jewelry and where did you get it?
10) If you could start a non-profit company, funding any cause you wish, what would yours be?
11) If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you choose to live?

The Five Blogs I Nominate
1) My sweet, creative friend Nitzia of Nitzia’s Designs (http://nitziasdesigns.blogspot.com/)
2) The adorable and talented Katherine of Love is in the Hair (http://loveisinthehair.blogspot.com/)
3) Beautiful sister-in-law and friend Brooke of Perfectly Imperfect Life as the Hayes Family (http://lifeasthehayes.blogspot.com/)
4) Lovely college friend Amy of Double the Blessing (http://doubletheblessingadamsfamily.blogspot.com)
5) Kind-hearted and loving Whitney of Life is Messy (http://livinginthemess.blogspot.com/)

I hope you enjoyed this little fun award, and I can't wait to see the responses from the blogs I nominated! Such a fun way to encourage bloggers. Have a great Friday!

Carly

Where do you draw the line?

I'm not really sure where to begin, because this post is extremely overdue. Mom has been busy getting crafts together for upcoming shows, and well...I haven't had a craft bone in my body in the past 6-8 months. I do sometimes walk into my garage and look at my pile of supplies and wish for a day of quiet, relaxing painting with Dave Barnes turned up loud on my iPod, but THAT has not happened in a long time. I keep telling myself that the urge will come back soon, and I will get out there and create SOMETHING...ANYTHING! Lately my mind has been on other things, and the focus of my time and life on those things...my husband graduated pharmacy school, and got an amazing job he loves. I am busy at work, and at home now have a new goal of healthy...clean-er eating and fitness. It's hard to change my skewed view of food when my entire life my meals were made up of a meat, and my vegetables were corn and potatoes. Now don't get me wrong, my mother is an amazing cook, and I never make anything quite like she does. Her ability to go into the kitchen and whip something up from nothing amazes me to no end. She is crafty I guess in all ways, and I envy her ability to be so selfless while never sitting down to eat her meal until everyone else gets what they would LIKE to eat...my sisters and I joke that she can sometimes be a short order cook, and we think she likes it like that. I've been trying new recipes lately...my first year of marriage I cooked a lot, but a lot of the recipes consisted of CHEESE...lots of cheese or they were frozen meals that were quick and perfect skillet goodness out of the bag and of course if I just so happened to make a meat and sides kind of meal, potatoes and corn are on the menu. ;) After we moved into our home, my cooking sort of went to non-existent. Fast food became our best friend and well...I gained some weight, weight that has slowly been hard to get off this body. I seem to gain it in the areas that STICK! Now my goal for living healthy is a little more re-focused than it was a year ago when I first started trying to lose the weight, then it was just about losing the pounds. Now, it's more about a healthier me. It's more about the content of the food than the amount of calories. I've started to become a label snob. Yes, a label snob. I'm trying really hard to decipher the difference between whole grain and whole wheat and to go organic or not organic, there are so many choices. Labels are deceiving, and it’s really hard to know what is good and what is not. It can be a frustrating, sometimes, well most of the time and I’m still trying to do research, it’s a daily life change. Although I still have my go to drink – COKE! It’s a hard one to say goodbye to. We’ve had breakups over the years but we’ve always seemed to find our way back to each other, and I think it’s okay to have an occasional splurge. ***I’m not going to judge you if you don’t decide to look at food the same as me, but I do think everyone should be informed and we should all know what we are putting in our bodies.*** We have no idea what we are putting in our bodies, at least I didn’t, and no matter how much of a label snob I can be, that still doesn’t always help! I’m starting to learn that research is the only way you are going to figure where to find exactly what you are looking for or how to know if certain brands are really what they say they are is to research. Sometimes I read about someone who has completely gone organic, or their family no longer eats processed foods, and I’m going to be totally honest…it overwhelms me but completely envious at the same time! Sometimes convenience wins, and sometimes cheaper wins; because we all know that healthier isn’t always cheaper. You have to do what works for you and what you feel is a deal breaker for you. For me the change has slowly started with replacing white with wheat, or wheat with whole grain and getting milk with no hormones, and switching to deer meat instead of cow (I do buy the occasional grass fed beef, but for us deer is cheaper and I know exactly where it came from). Chicken is still something I’m trying to figure out, sometimes I will go in the store and be so excited because I buy “organic” chicken on sale, then go home, research the brand and realize it’s not as great as I thought it was. That’s where planning would be a handy…I’m not a good planner when it comes to grocery shopping. With all that said, you may be completely annoyed now, because you completely disagree with my statements, and that’s okay. I’m not claiming to be an expert; I’m just claiming to be trying to be better, trying to become a clean eater and would love any ideas or tips if you have them. Where do you draw the line on food?

This blog is not meant to be about food, or health, or fitness, or even details about my life. Generally I blog about crafts, but since crafting has been a distant memory for me lately; I thought I would fill you in on what has been recently consuming my mind. But for all you crafters who came to see a craft blog I won’t leave you hanging without a picture. This window pane was from the school that my Grandad attended. All the glass was broken out so I turned it into a chalkboard last fall. I made it with intentions to sell it but couldn’t let it go. It hangs in my office and one of my sweet friends did some chalk art on it for me. Have a fabulous Tuesday!